well, met this guy in game. another fellow sg player. haha.. dun get the wrong idea. -.-"

anyway, the way he "speaks" reminded me of a friend. same pattern. like.. very chirpy. no matter what. and also, very .. talkative? hahah.. reminded me of those times when we were together. as friends, not couple. i mentioned about him once in my dec14th entry. although their personalities were kinda different as also their background, but haha.. that "feeling" was there lah. felt lik im talkg to my friend instead of d sg player himself. but 1 thing, they like to keep talking about CHIOBU! haiz..

seriously wondering, what is he doing now? where is he? how is he? by now, he should have ORD already... hmmm..

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how time flies... 25th of this month will be my grandma's death anni. already 4yrs le.. so fast when it just felt like.. last yr?

ah.. mayb this song that is making me think alot now. yea, its sent to me by tht sg player. posted it up here. headache, duno which one to put up because both are really good. except one is a rather heartbreaking music.. where if u happen to be going through a rough patch.. u'll most prolly feel worse and drop a tear or two. the other one is more.. lik a joyful song? not exactly joyful but brings out the fond memories which were hidden away.. deep inside. makes you think of those happier times you had, with your friends, families, love/loved ones.. yea. that's what im feeling right now.

made me think of my sec times. of that TP guy lol.. poly? ymca? alot.

thinking back, realised that once u'd missed a very good opportunity which was being threw in front of your face and u, because of shyness, worries, hesitation... and then fate decided to give u a chance, to grab it and again. u didnt. and your heart did a cruel job, of making you feel and learn the word "regret". and u'l be thinkg, why did i do this? why didnt i do that? why? so many whys... and so many if onlys...

or.. when u hate yourself for doing so many silly things when you were younger. i dunno what, but it just made u wonder, will you still repeat those mistakes and silly actions again? u'll tell yourself, nope! coz i'd looked back, learnt from it and wouldnt do it again. few years fast forward, u'll think back again and realised.. that u'd did it again. did the same silly o' action again. and u'll wnoder.. WHY? either u make an attempt to change yourself or resign to it, coz its just so u. if u change yourself, make sure, u are changing for the better, not for d worse. because.. u cant erase the history. people will remember what u do to them. u'll remember what u'd done. u'll feel..... what ur heart knows only.

anyway, a friend asked, what's my NY resolutions. i made up a whole list of them. but chucked it away. coz i dont think i can do it. so.. i'll just.. take a step at a time? juz .. wither my life away.