Where did it go wrong?

Took out new sheets to change and I saw the covers for the comforter brought over from his rented place and was reminded of the time when we just started seeing each other.

It all felt good then and both of us were messaging each other almost all the time. Where we would just talk on the phone almost every night. Where I couldn't wait for the next day to start so that I could see him and the day not to end so that I wouldn't have to say goodbye to him. Where I would check my phone all the time to see if he message me. Call him the next moment when I have got a missed call from him. Treated every minute like they were so precious to me.

And that got me thinking, when did all these end? When did things become so bad that we were fighting almost everyday and to the extend of just ending the relationship? When did we stop messaging each other so frequently like we used to? Where did it go wrong? Or did we start taking each other for granted? Taking this relationship for granted? Or we were so into each other then was because we do not see each other everyday except for at work?

Today nearly marks the end of this 6 months plus relationship. B felt that it's time for him to go, to stop hurting me. That got me thinking, whether is that a right move? To just end it once and for all? Do I want to? Do I still love him? Should I just agree with him? And if I do agree with him, to just let him go, will he just go instead of staying put? - He said he will go.

Or was it the constant fighting that made him to stop trying?

He said that the quarrels made him felt that the relationship has problems. Aren't problems to be solve once they surface instead of ignoring where the problem lies? Find out what are the problems and find solutions to it?

Maybe he just did the things he felt was alright as long as he still love me. Maybe he doesn't feel that he's flirting with them. Maybe he didn't realise the things he did make me uncomfortable?

But.... shouldn't he consider my feelings beforehand?

Or maybe I am the one who is oversensitive? Who is overreacting?

Such as messaging someone whom I used to like almost everyday, almost for the whole day/night?

Or messaging someone who may like me? Adore me? Admire me?

A friend once said "even if I stick to him 24/7, if he wants to cheat, the ways are many."

Either way, I guess this is the last straw - the straw he was referring to. Once it is used up and cannot be use anymore, into the dustbin it goes.

Oh and my feelings when I saw that messages? It wasn't comfortable at all. Although it was over but I still cannot forget about it for now.

Someone once said that a friend of hers ignore everything her husband is doing - ignorance is a bliss. Is it really?

I do not want to control him neither do I want him to be messaging girls excessively. There's no balance to everything I guess. I wonder how those model couples do it. How did they manage to trust each other so much? Do they actually quarrel? How did they keep their relationship going?

Even for one who jokes about her admirer, but she is still proud to talk about her husband.

Then I remembered him saying : Tell the girls how wonderful my girlfriend is?

And I thought about it... there's nothing wonderful about me. I did not do anything that makes him think I am wonderful. That will makes him feel proud to talk about me. Nothing at all. And he said that his heart is always with me. His mind is filled with me. His words all concerns me.

Did he really? Talk about me all the time to his friends? Or was he just good with words?

About what you said... I will keep that in mind. I guess when it comes to that.

Maybe when he said to quit, I should just call it quits instead of asking to continue.

Why did I ask to continue then? There must be a reason to do that right?

I'm tired. I do not want to think anymore.

Looking back, we have had overcome quite a few hurdles. It was a slow and painful path but we overcame it anyway. Now that we are faced with another one, an even more challenging one where we nearly give up. Will we just give up or will we try our best to overcome it, to move on ahead and overcome other obstacles that comes we will face?

I hope that he will try to put my feelings into consideration before he do yet another thing.

I hope that he will keep to his word when he said that he will share things with me, no secrets, no keeping things, no matter how insignificant it is. - a friend once said, a couple will never have zero secrets and will definitely keep secrets from one another. Yet another said they do not have any between them.

Again, trust is the biggest issue here.

Will the people trust the wolf when he cried too many times?

Two songs to share.