Why did God create humans to be such complex creatures? Why can't we just have a simple mind like the animals, love the family, source for food, protect the members, ...? Why do we need to make something so simple yet complicated?
Sometimes I wonder what do I really want to do with my life. No longer young and still directionless. Which is not a good sign. Why do I exist then? I wish I was born a butterfly, a bee, a worm, etc. Where life is easy, just fly, eat, sleep and be eaten. Die and reborn again as something simple so that I don't have to worry about money, studies and life. Now I understand why some people commit suicide. I used to think that they are silly people, for choosing the easiest way out instead of facing up to their life difficulties, no matter how difficult life is. Or maybe my very optimistic outlook has faded as time goes by? I feel that I am no longer as optimistic as I used to be. Why? What happened? Maybe life used to be really simple as compared to now. Maybe because of the path I took, I'd walked.
Anyway last Friday was my last paper and it was horrible. I am prepared to repeat a year. It has been so long since I last attended school and I am still trying to get use to the feel of studying. I am toying with the idea of switching to full time studies instead of part time. However, I did not because of financial issues. If I am to quit my job, how am I going to afford to pay all my bills? How am I going to pay for my school fees? How am I going to pay my expenses? Even if I am to take up a part time job, it can barely cover any of the above.
I was studying in Republic Polytechnic's library - which is a very different concept as compared to what people has in mind where library was supposed to be a very quiet place right? Not over at RP. There are cafe in the library, there are live music by their bands, there are students playing the piano the whole day. So their library is not quiet at all. Quite the place I like to be in, where there are tables and chairs, no food or drinks, and soothing music in the background. I LIKE! I don't mind going there to do my revision on my day off, even if it is an hour ride from my place.
I was there on two nights and would stay until the library closed at 9pm. Every evening, there will be this person playing on the piano, playing a song and it was very soothing. On the first night, I was very curious to see who was playing it because the pianist would stay until the very end. As tempted as I was, I did not go up to peek at the pianist for I do not want my impression of the pianist to be negative. Heh. The tune kept running through, repeating itself automatically.
On the second night, I heard it again. The same pianist for the same songs were being played on the piano. Again, until the very end, when I was leaving the library, the pianist was still there playing. I was looking at my facebook and saw someone posting a song for his girlfriend and out of curiosity, I went to listen at the song. I went O.O!!
That was the song I heard at the library!!!!!
Enjoy! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment