Taking Things for Granted

So I saw and watched this video on Facebook and it got me thinking, sure enough, there are different stages in a relationship and it can make or break one. Especially after the honeymoon period ends and a couple gets too comfortable with each other that they tends to take things for granted.

I can't speak for all but these are just purely what I think and how I feel.

The feeling one gets during the chase be it the receiving end or the chaser, is always the most exciting and interesting part because that is when the two person will do the cha-cha dance. Moving back and forth, flirting with one another. Trying to know and understand the other party from their characters to habits to the food/drink they like.

Once they are both walking the same path and decided to be together, that is where the honeymoon starts. Honeymoon, well, is like a continuation from the courting stage just that instead of 'Single", their status changed to "In a Relationship". That is the point where the couple are totally oblivious to their partner's bad habits, any negative characters, etc because they are too blinded being in love with one another, enjoying the moments they are having now. For some, their honeymoon can last for a few months, years or otherwise, just days and weeks.

Once that honeymoon period dies down, they will shift to the comfortable stage or rather, for some is the 'boring' stage where they cannot find anything to do together. Or so, they thought. They just felt that they had explored everything together and there is nothing else to learn about one another, every malls explored, there is nothing else to do. Life with each other is just beginning to get boring. Either one or both will want some excitement and unfortunately, that cannot be found on their other half or just does not include/involve the other half. That is when one started to stop seeing the other half so often and spend more time either alone or with friends and is beginning to open up their options. It may go to the extend where the 'blinded' starts to open and sees all the bad habits and stuffs that they do not mind initially and began to wonder, WHY? Why is he/she like this? Why is he/she like that? Why is he/she so fat? Why he/she has bad breath? Why didn't I notice earlier? Why? Etc... And soon, they will start picking fight over the slightest matters with one and other. They can get really irritated with one another, the tolerance level just went down rapidly. And so, that's when the unhappiness overtake the happy moments completely. They will forget the initial WHY were they attracted to each other in the first place? After the whole relationship just went downhill, all the constant fighting, the seeing each other less, one would eventually think about this "Breakup". This relationship can't work anymore. I don't love him/her anymore. I'll be happier without him/her. And so, it happened. Sometimes it may change things for the better, like taking time being away from one another to realise that they actually misses each other and still wants to enjoy each other's company. Sometimes, one of them or both might just move on with their lives.

Personally, I feel that breaking up is the easiest way out. It is just walking out of a relationship that one did not try hard enough to salvage it or perhaps, felt that one had done enough and the result is still the same, might as well not waste each other's time and move on. However, how hard did one try? Was it a half-hearted effort or a hundred percent effort? As long as one of the put in a half-hearted effort, it will not yield any results. Relationship remains status quo and eventually still leads to breakup.

It is easy to take certain things for granted. Like if your partner has always been really sweet by buying lunch/little things on certain days to cheer you up or to make you happy, one who does not reflect on that will take it for granted and sometimes may felt irritated that why is he/she wasting time or spending money on things that they do not need? If need be, might as well spend it on better/bigger things? Or sometimes a partner who tolerate the other half temper/behaviour/etc doesn't mean they can do it all the time and their partner will forgive/tolerate them forever. It will come to a point where their rubber band is fully stretch and once they snap.. well, if you are able to put a rubber band together again.

One ought to look back occasionally, think and try to improve the relationship between themselves instead of getting comfortable and start taking things for granted.

So before one says the word 'Breakup', perhaps one should set it as a rule in a relationship. No breakup and resolve whatever conflicts before the night ends. That is just an example.

Unless they really do not feel the love for each other anymore, then yes, it is time to make the exit.

How does one know they do not feel anything for each other? Do they have to wait until they spend some time away from each other then they will know? Or when they start flirting with other people and realised that at the end of the day, it is their partner whom they wish to return to?

A relationship requires a lot of work. Like in the video, being in one can either lead to breakup or marriage. While you are with your partner, what do you look for in the relationship? Where do you see yourself in it? Does discussing about this with your partner helps to determine how the relationship will grow? Of course for many, especially the young ones, they do not think that far. For now, they will want to enjoy each other's company first. I guess, when it reaches a certain period, then one will most probably think about where to take the relationship to. Whether will one wish to stay in a serious and long term relationship with the current partner and after X number of months/years, then they will wish to settle down. Or they just want to walk and think about the next step tomorrow. However if after an X period of time and there is no changes in the relationship, perhaps they need to talk about it.