What do you want in a relationship?

Somehow I realised that my blog has been full of relationship related posts and there weren't many happy posts or happening posts. I guess it all became like that after I realised that someone undesirable was reading my blog after that incident happened... in May. After which, I don't really like her looking at photos taken with my friends and all. I do wish I could write a post about her, attached with a photo just to let everyone know what she did. You did not see me posting, so it is not here.Yet. Perhaps I'll go through a higher profile post so that it gets wider coverage.

All that had happened, it is strange and difficult to comprehend why would someone finds pleasure in doing such things, knowing that it is all words only but still suck it all up and pretend that it is all happening? It is easy to put a test to see how much that someone means to that person.

I want to move on. And I guess it is about time for me to do something by the end of this year. I wish to start something new for 2014 as 2013 is bad enough. I hope I will be able to stand strong and stay firm by then. I'd forgiven and forget too many times but it just keeps happening again and again which makes it hard for me to forgive and forget anymore. The last time is the last straw but I do not wish to stay and see it happening again. God knows what I will do.

I also knows that there are people close to me, reading my posts as they are voices from my thoughts which I never really share with them. I am glad that they reads and do not confront me about it but still supporting me silently.

So, as my post reads "What do you want in a relationship?"

I once told someone what I want in a relationship but I guess it all but fell on deaf ears as that person will read only. Selective reading on top of that. So when I was talking about this, that person asked what do I want in a relationship then, I do not really want to tell as I know it will just be washed away.

I want to be able to have TRUST in a relationship. That means no lying in a relationship. No keeping things. Complete trust and faith.

I want to have a relationship where we can talk about anything under the sun. It can be small things like 'Hey, I just found this app/game." or it can be "my friends are planning a birthday event for a friend / Chinese New Year / Christmas event, we are thinking of doing this, this and that.". It can be anything that is happening right now. I guess it will lead to the next one.

I want both to be involve in each others lives and activities. When we are thinking of doing certain things, we will think of the other immediately.

I want to have a relationship where we can share about just anything which is similar to the part where I said we can talk about anything under the sun but this time is, we can share our personal thoughts and feelings with each other. Our plans.

I want to have a relationship where I can see us moving on to somewhere. It does not necessary have to lead to marriage but it can lead to a relationship where I know it will  be the last one, a relationship which is rock solid, which will lasts.

Just more disappointments than happy memories. Why did it all start? Why did I not protest and go with what was planned initially? Why did I not stop myself then? Perhaps it will not happen at all. Then perhaps I will be feeling quite the opposite of what I am feeling right now.