When it happens........

Here I am, thinking, what happen if I am to date a younger guy. How would I behave? How would I prepare myself for it in terms of mentality and maturity level? Would I be facing the same as Mr Tan? I guess he would lower his intellectual, maturity and mentality level so that it'll kind of match mine to a certain extend. Perhaps, to him, I'd display a lot of childish thoughts and behaviour.

Should I treat him as he is one who is an adult or not? How young is young? Maybe as young as 5 to 6years? 3 years shouldn't make a difference right? As the age gap isn't as far as 6, which is like doubled.

Or does it depends on what is he doing now? Like is he still studying? Working? If he is working, what is he working as? Does these affect the way he thinks? Does what he wants in life, his goals and all affect his maturity level as well? Most prolly at the start, it was the honeymoon period and as that sweet moments wear off, it'll be time to face the test, whether does he do currently affects you?

Sometimes I wonder is it me who can't maintain a decent relationship? Is it that I gets bored easily that no matter what my partner tries (so hard) to do or what it takes to keep the relationship going, I just won't get surprised or happy or even pleased by it? And in fact I just wish he didn't do that? And in my mind, I'll just keep thinking what would I do or how would I feel if we are to break up? Perhaps this is an unhealthy thinking and I shouldn't even think about give up?

I'd also wonder whether should I just give it all or keep some and not give it all so not to hurt myself in case my partner decides to break up with me for some other reasons. Which is more hurting? Partner breaking up because he'd fallen for another person (I still can't understand how that works because I know that I will not due to the fact that I have a boyfriend and won't even entertain some other guys.); he is being post overseas to work (don't think it is that bad because I can even go over with him right? Hah); he do not have any feelings for you anymore(ouchie); the relationship is going nowhere (maybe he wants to settle down or whatever - but, if you move on to the next stage, after moving on which is the marriage part, isn't it the same as still being together but not married? No kids involved by the way.). That's about what I could think of.. I guess the most hurtful is he falling for another person because he is actually entertaining a NEW girl (doesn't matter if is a friend turn romance or just met a new friend) while he is still with you. That's the WORST and I guess he can be called a BASTARD!! If he wants to flirt around just because the relationship is getting dull, shouldn't he either call the relationship off instead of pulling and wasting the girl's time? Or use the time and energy to try improving the current relationship?

Perhaps being with a younger guy will make me feel insecure? Or will he feel the same? How not to feel suspicious of his every actions? Although he will give the word that I'm the one and only? How to know what's on his mind if constant questioning will seem like over possessive? Or his actions plays a part?

I guess the last thing I'll want him to know is my blog. Why? Maybe I don't want him to know too much about me? I was contemplating about opening a twitter account however I feel that there's no need for it. Fb is enough and my blog, I guess is where I'll try to pour out most of my inner thoughts and feelings.

Less than 12hours to HK

Wahahhaha!! My Gan di is finally in Singapore!! And sadly.. I'll be travelling to HK on Monday morning. Catching a red-eye flight (learnt that term from Mr Tan when we were travelling to Japan) to HK. Quite excited and yet, worried at the same time that I'll overspend. Just made a payment of SGD$3,852 yesterday at SIM for my school. First lesson Mathematics 1 will be starting on the 17th! Now that I'm looking at the calender, I was thinking to myself.. Why didn't I choose to travel on the 2nd week of July? This way it will not clash with my period and I do not have to take any pills to stop it temporary. Oh well.......

I do hope that I'll have the strictest discipline to study well. Since there's only 1 module for term 1 (suddenly grabbed my phone wanting to message my girls my lessons, lol), I need to study hard until I can do the formulas without opening my eyes. Lol.

Mom was asking whether have I pack my luggage for my trip yet.. My reply? Not yet. I pack fast and can do so in 2hours' time or maybe lesser. I already know what I want to bring at the back of my head. Heee.......

OMG!!! Master Keigo!! WHY ARE YOU STILL SLEEPING!?? Thought of D3-ing with you... :(

Summary for June

Ah! It's been some time since I'd last posted something here. So many things happened that I do not know where to start from.

This month is a really bad month for me. Had body rash that I took medical leave for 4.5days in a month's time. Visited the hospital twice. Once was the A&E due to the bad body rash. Second time was a bad bout of diarrhea - as diagnosed by the doctor. It happened when I was out, had lunch in SIM and after, dinner at Takashimaya. Not sure what was the cause of the adominal pain. Was in the cinema and I couldn't take the pain anymore. Felt like puking, felt pain and my ass was keeping so tight to avoid shitting on my jeans and I was breaking out in cold sweat. Couldn't take it, left the theatre, headed straight to the ladies. Diarrhea alone wasn't enough, I'd vomitted twice - on the floor. Stayed in the toilet too long to make my companion and the cleaning lady worried. Left the washroom, couldn't walk anymore and just sat on the floor, of course by the side so not to block the walkway. Companion decided to call for the ambulance, took me to SGH and yes, first time in a hospital. The frikking place was so cold that all my veins just closed up and doctor couldn't find it. Tried poking the needle through the vien by the side of my wrist and failed to draw blood. His colleague took over and push the needle into the vein by the elbow and yes, blood just rushed out. Stayed in the observation room for some time before they pushed me into the observation ward and put me on drip. Place so cold that the blanket wasn't enough to block the coldness. Or maybe my whole body was feeling weak. Some experience. To be carried by the paramedics, sat on a wheelchair-liked, sent to the hospital in an ambulance with siren (woohoo) and transferred to another bed. Stayed in the hospital for 3hours before I was discharged. Well, I kept asking when can I be discharged. Hope I will not visit the hospital again! Total needle holes on my right arm - 3. Puked 4 times, had a very bad case of diarrhea where I can just sit on the toilet bowl and the shit just came like peeing non-stop.

Sick on birthday but someone took me out on a dinner treat the day after at Prego. It was really good to be out of the house since I was at home for almost the whole week and away from work! Had the best time since I was sick. First time ever to be sleeping so much in my life. Lol.

Appeal for UOL was successful, waiting to start school in mid July. Can't wait!! Taking Economics (die lah), Mathematics 1 and Statistics (pre-requisites) and Introduction to Business Management. One module for term one - Maths 1, then Econs, IBM and Stats for term two. Good luck to me! Must study really hard so not to fail any and pay for retake. I'm very lucky to have many friends who offered their help - notes, which lectures are good, etc. They are so excited for me too. Heee.

Guess that's about it for now. Shall update soon.

Be going to Hong Kong next week for a short holiday and during my compliance leave too. Have fun first then hell later. Lol.

Long gone and forgotten

Yes... Deleted some posts if you'd noticed.. Decided not to post them up. Just keeping them to myself.

Good piece of news - my appeal for uol is S-U-C-C-E-S-S-F-U-L!! Woohooooo!!! Tomorrow be dropping by to sign some papers and the in-charge will be going through the package with me... Next up, find someone who can finance my school fees. :X

Time to update

Yesss, update on what's happening here!!

Of course there are some information that I'll leave out and maybe add them in in due course.

I'd received a letter from SIM with regards to my application for SIM - UOL. Unfortunately it was unsuccessful. I was utterly disappointed and wondered why didn't I get it? I am going to write an appeal letter later to try my luck. I want to study there!!

Sad things aside, first happy event was my gan di message me! Finally!!!!!! And to think he'd think of my blog when he's feeling stressed from studies.. But it's a good thing. At least he'll think of me to relax when he's feeling stress.

Boju, you better watch out when you're back in SINGAPORE!! I will not let you off easily! WILL NOT!!

Second happy thing was meeting Gabby!! I think I'm his evil friend. Lol. We watched the show I'd always wanted to watch - Delicacy because Audrey Tautou was acting in it! She's sooooo pretty!!