When it happens........

Here I am, thinking, what happen if I am to date a younger guy. How would I behave? How would I prepare myself for it in terms of mentality and maturity level? Would I be facing the same as Mr Tan? I guess he would lower his intellectual, maturity and mentality level so that it'll kind of match mine to a certain extend. Perhaps, to him, I'd display a lot of childish thoughts and behaviour.

Should I treat him as he is one who is an adult or not? How young is young? Maybe as young as 5 to 6years? 3 years shouldn't make a difference right? As the age gap isn't as far as 6, which is like doubled.

Or does it depends on what is he doing now? Like is he still studying? Working? If he is working, what is he working as? Does these affect the way he thinks? Does what he wants in life, his goals and all affect his maturity level as well? Most prolly at the start, it was the honeymoon period and as that sweet moments wear off, it'll be time to face the test, whether does he do currently affects you?

Sometimes I wonder is it me who can't maintain a decent relationship? Is it that I gets bored easily that no matter what my partner tries (so hard) to do or what it takes to keep the relationship going, I just won't get surprised or happy or even pleased by it? And in fact I just wish he didn't do that? And in my mind, I'll just keep thinking what would I do or how would I feel if we are to break up? Perhaps this is an unhealthy thinking and I shouldn't even think about give up?

I'd also wonder whether should I just give it all or keep some and not give it all so not to hurt myself in case my partner decides to break up with me for some other reasons. Which is more hurting? Partner breaking up because he'd fallen for another person (I still can't understand how that works because I know that I will not due to the fact that I have a boyfriend and won't even entertain some other guys.); he is being post overseas to work (don't think it is that bad because I can even go over with him right? Hah); he do not have any feelings for you anymore(ouchie); the relationship is going nowhere (maybe he wants to settle down or whatever - but, if you move on to the next stage, after moving on which is the marriage part, isn't it the same as still being together but not married? No kids involved by the way.). That's about what I could think of.. I guess the most hurtful is he falling for another person because he is actually entertaining a NEW girl (doesn't matter if is a friend turn romance or just met a new friend) while he is still with you. That's the WORST and I guess he can be called a BASTARD!! If he wants to flirt around just because the relationship is getting dull, shouldn't he either call the relationship off instead of pulling and wasting the girl's time? Or use the time and energy to try improving the current relationship?

Perhaps being with a younger guy will make me feel insecure? Or will he feel the same? How not to feel suspicious of his every actions? Although he will give the word that I'm the one and only? How to know what's on his mind if constant questioning will seem like over possessive? Or his actions plays a part?

I guess the last thing I'll want him to know is my blog. Why? Maybe I don't want him to know too much about me? I was contemplating about opening a twitter account however I feel that there's no need for it. Fb is enough and my blog, I guess is where I'll try to pour out most of my inner thoughts and feelings.