was and am so heartbroken now.

siti told me that my hamster was lying on his side, not running around as usual. panic hit me and felt guilty for not checking in on him for the past few days. was prepared to see him lying and not breathing anymore.

went to see him immediately and look for signs of him still being alive. saw it! thought he was sleeping and decided to poke him. *poke. no reaction (usually he'd jump up and bit whatever is poking him. coz everything to him including my fingers are food...). poke poke. still no reaction.* removed cage and tried to shift him. still no reaction and eyes were close. moved him onto my hand and was stil hoping that he's only playing with me. still no movement. no nothing. no jumping up and biting on my hand. resign to the fact that he's dying any time. spent the next 1hr with him and still praying that he'll jump up. he seems to be crying as his eyes were wet. he tried very hard to open his eyes too. when he managed to, he's still very weak, lying down.

he jumped on his feet suddenly. i was very surprised and dropped him onto his cage's tray. expecting him to run around looking for food. but no.. he's lying on the spot. picked him up and apologised for dropping him. (hey, sometimes they understand u ok. lik d other hamster) then again, he's there breathing.. lying.. i was talking to him, askin him to try and open his eyes. he seems to b tryin to and he did it. its lik.. he understood what i was saying.. before that, he was trying to clean his nose, lik he always do. but lack the energy to do so.

then i noticed his eyes getting bigger and he looked lik he's having a seizure or something lik a heart attack. i was STILL hoping that he'll jump up n run about again. sadly, once the seizure's gone, his heartbeat stopped too. i stared for a long time. hoping that his heart will beat again.. tot my eyes were playing tricks on me.

no.. he's juz there, lying. body stopped moving. couldnt help but to cry. didnt know its so painful to witness him, lying there till his time end. unable to describe that feeling in me.. but its so.. heartbreaking. wrapped him in tissue and buried him in the garden, below the christmas tree, with his friend/brother that's buried there too.. placed a tiny flower there..

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r.i.p my beloved hamster
date when he moved into my house: 23.06.2004
date when he left my house: 14.12.2005

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