Everyone says I'm very expressive. Perhaps I am.. For when I text, I'll have either a smile, a frown or I'll mumble something to myself which the person beside me will hear. Sometimes I wonder whether is it a good thing...
At times, I'm so tempted to check out ALL his messages and see what were his conversations like - kinda he might as well leave his phone with me eh?
OR I'll stalk him at his twitters and facebook account to see what did he message or post.
OR I'll keep asking him what is he doing, or when he's typing something on his phone, I'll go check out what was he typing.
These sounds so stupid I know and it is very unusual of me wanting to do all these, or to even think about it! Maybe it is just the start. Perhaps it'll all die down as time goes by. For I do not like people checking my phone and all, much less for him to discover this blog. I used to let him just look over my shoulder and see what was I texting. Now, I don't. I'll either reply when I'm not with him or turned at an angle where he can't see what I'm typing. I'm sure he's not comfortable or willing to share his whole conversation he had with his friend. Funny thing is, I'm ok if he's looking at my conversation. In fact, sometimes I felt that I'd shared a bit too much information or too much details with him. Time to keep myself in check. Now is too early to tell. Wait for another few more months.
I'd proposed the idea of him moving in to my place which he agreed to it and that surprises me. I was expecting him to reject the idea strongly. And during my thinking time in the bathroom, I was thinking - is this a bad idea? Because my life will be exposed 100% to him and it is totally 99.99% no privacy nor secrets. So I'd decided to keep mum about the whole moving in issue. And he had said himself that if we're no longer together, he'll be at the losing end because he'll have to find a new place to rent a room. I was disappointed at first but during my thinking time in the bathroom? It was a good piece of news. I did not bring up that subject and one day, he began to say that he had so much clothes that my wardrobe will have no space for him. I was alarmed! Something that I'd kept mum about it.. Has he been thinking about this idea? Or it was just a random topic that was kind of dangerously close to the main subject.
When he told me that he had fallen for me and he is willing to take the step and give it a try. The exact same proposition I'd put up a week back and he'd rejected me, with the reason that he wasn't ready, there's someone he liked and was bringing up the "let's put a stop to this relationship" subject. I was so close to agreeing but decided not to due to some reasons. Partly was because I do not want to be a quitter and let it go so easily. Back to the main topic, I was there battling an internal war. After he'd rejected me, I regretted saying those words immediately and was actually glad that he'd rejected my idea. And he was in the process of understanding another girl he had know in school, liking her. 2 girls at the same time? Not something I'd feel secure and safe about. How ironic is... I'm accepted his proposal and am with him.
Was it too fast? Should I have just wait? Could he do the same thing next time? Although I know what had passed had passed, but I can't help wondering.
Just wait and see.....
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