Wow, now that I've been using his mac for the 2nd day, I must say I'm getting the hang of it. Maybe I can consider getting one when I really need it. It's so expensive, like SGD3000 for a good one! And should I be facing any issues with the mac, I can always ask B for help!
Anyway, I couldn't sleep well at all last night and I must admit, I cried really hard. B doesn't know about it for he was fast asleep and I was doing it under covers (sounds like undercover huh).
This morning, somehow B felt that something is wrong and asked me. Then I asked him about it, told him what's on my mind. He did not say much and I'm not sure what was he thinking for when I asked him about it, he said he wasn't thinking about anything. He told me that I can ask all the questions I want and he will answer them, but it is up to me whether I believe him only.
I do feel relieve now that I'd managed to spill out what's bothering me. And I guess, trust really takes a lot of hard work. The trust lost yesterday was back today. The only time when it is 100% complete is when I post photos of us here in my blog, in my fb profile pic, my whatsapp, etc. Basically is telling the whole world that I'm with him. And when I'm not bothered at all when he message his ex girlfriends occasionally, when he knows about this blog of mine (that is unless he found it first). I'd love to have him do up my blog for me. So, all the best to every couples out there having the same issue as I am - building this wall call Trust.
Now my room has more of him here. His perfume smell (one that he sprays every morning before going to work), his bag on the floor, his top hanging on the wardrobe, etc. All these reminds me of his presence.
We'll just take one step at a time bah.
3 comments:
its been a long time since i met you, 5years? 6years? doesnt matter. Actually, just out of curiousity, does it really matter if the other half read, go out, phone the ex? As for me, i always look on the bright side, my wife , yes, i married, still communicate, text him till now, we been married for 2 years.
What i want to say is tat if a person really loves you, this kind of obstacle wont affect each other relationship. Think another way, concerning a "x" friend is the same as concerning a normal friend, is just tat they were "once" closer. Why not u ask yourself? what are u so afraid of? he goes back to the ex? he stepping at 2 boat? If he really did tat, do you think this guy worth for you to beg him come back? Nah...... Then this guy is not for you.
Look on the bright side, mature trust and communication is important in relationship.
And for your info, i still look at my ex profile, photo, sms, etc. is just the way i concerning over a friend and the other way round for my wife.
Why cant you trust him instead of doubt him. And lastly i want to say a little rude yet quite accurate qoute, hows your thought affect how you think. A fox knows a fox thinking. Maybe you had this kind of thought which in turn make you think he would do that? Dont "assume" thing gonna happen that way UNLESS u see it with your "own eye". false thought can only lead to emotion stress.
Sorry for having such a long post and wish you and your bf happily together.
I agree, but different its pretty much different strokes for different folks (Couples).
Perhaps your wife do not have such actions, Anna and me shared, that's why you feel more "secured" than us..
Agree that mutual trust & positive thinking is is important, but sometimes their action leaves us wanting, for action speaks louder than words.. Say "trust me", but refuse to let us know 100% when being aske and do otherwise with their actions, knowing or unknowingly.
I believe, in a relationship, every couple should be open and not hide any secrets..
I also believe that everyone has a past, and it is important not let the past affect your present relationship status...
Anna: Love is priceless & we must cherish our partners. I believe we are lucky to find our own suitable ideal partners to share weal and woes together..
Eventually, time will tell..
Hence, for now, to keep myself sane, i will just continue positive thinking, loving and pamper her whatever i can & give my all..
Love will always be unequal.
Don't ponder, don't cry, but just love him with all your heart !
yes, love are never the same like DNA. dont compare. Love is create uniquely by 2 person. so cherish it.
I "used" to doubt her, but once you get pass yourself, there nothing wrong with it. Prove it that u are confident. Past doesnt mean it will happen again, if you scared of it, the devil within you will only be more happy. There is up and down in every cycle of love, is just that how 2 of you can overcome it and resume it glory.
i agree with your last few sentence, " i will just continue positive thinking, loving and pamper her whatever i can & give my all.. "
always look on the bright side, do what u suppose to do, love what you suppose to love.
love was not an item shown to other, rather, its a item to show how you 2 can manage it. dont care what ppl say , they not the one tat enjoy it, its u tat enjoy it.
Love, dote, trust each other and dont believe the evil side of yours till part. it should be enjoy and not doubt.
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