Paper thin trust

I realised that when I'm able to start trusting him, the trust will start to crumble faster than it is built. Although I know that he spends 90% of his time with me, what else can he do apart from flirting with others on phone right? The thing is, to flirt on phone means he has to be on the phone most of the time, which he is not. Sometimes it bothers me who is he messaging, sometimes not. Sometimes the actions he do bothers me, sometimes not. Like he would quickly close the page (be it facebook, messaging) when I was near. It could be coincidence, he was just spending time looking at fb while waiting for me and closing it when I'm done. I'm not sure.

Or when he is messaging or something, his screen will slant away from me, like not wanting me to see what is he typing but it could be because he is using one hand to type or what.

I love him but I can't trust him. And it is very difficult for me. I feel very xin ku. I don't know what's on his mind always. What is he thinking of. And if the trust can't be build, my love for him will fade.

I hope that whatever he do, he will think of my feelings first. That's what I'm trying to do now, putting his feelings before my actions. Trying to avoid all unnecessary trouble so that he would not think otherwise or be uncomfortable about it. I do not want to be doing the same actions as him just to make him realise it. Sigh.