Like the video: The heart wants what it wants

I think this is one of her nicest songs although the mv doesn't quite suit her.. Maybe it is because of her babyface.

It is kind of true. Why do some people stay with their partners although they treat them like shit / doesn't treasure them / cheated on them.. Etc.

The heart wins whe it comes to emotions.. While the logical mind is trying to talk and convince the heart that she (I feel heart is more like a girl. Soft, gentle, you know, when it comes to feelings) should just walk away in the nasty relationship that is bearing fruitless results. However the heart doesn't wants to listen and ignore all the warning signs and that resulting in a broken heart. The heart may lose faith in future relationships and shut herself in, or it may nosedive into yet another meaningless relationship - doesnt learn from the previous relationship and get hurt again.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij_0p_6qTss&sns=em

I hope those who are in a bad / meaningless / no future relationship, please try to walk away from it and don't look back. It ain't easy I know and I understand but it is better to break it off before it gets deeper. It won't bore any fruits but it will only cause you to be unhappy. Not point stretching the relationship any longer because just like the rubber band, the longer you stretch, it will snap eventually and you'll end up hurting no one but yourself. If the person did something bad to you once - lied to you, cheated on you, abused you verbally or physically, they can do it again. And it is even worse if it is a combination of more than one of the bad thing.

2014 is coming to an end, time to do some changes to yourself and your life perhaps? Do something for 2015, start it with a fresh chapter of your life, don't look back unless you want to learn from mistakes and not to run back into the arms of the person who hurt you ever and over again.

I have already prepared a small goal for myself and will try to achieve it in 2015. I am quite excited about it and no... It doesn't have to do with any make over or losing weight... I gave up on that thought long time ago.. I have a few goals lined up and I will try to make some changes to my life for once. And perhaps for once I will achieve all of them and not just one of them or none of them.

加油everyone for 2015!!!!!!!!!

A person who lied once will keep lying and never tell the truth. So when they start to tell the truth, who will believe? If the person wants to change, who will believe that they will or have changed for the better?

A person who can give out their numbers to strangers so easily just because they find them attractive or in the heat of the moment, the percentage of them cheating is there and trust me, they will cheat on you with the ones they are interested in or are attracted to.

A person who claimed to be proud of you as their partner but doesn't show it 

A person who abused you is a beast who even though claimed to be in a bad mood or is drunk hence they're out of control... That is just excuses. And they will keep doing it and it will not get better but worse.

The above are not worth keeping nor staying with because they do not respect you, they do not deserve your love.

Bangkok 2014

Before I head towards the trip, I thought I add something else too.

See, before my leave starts on 17/12/14 (I was clearing my leave), there was an email memo to offering Macbook at $600 for a 2010 series - which is a good deal right? So I bid for it and got my buddy to bid for it too. One of my colleague bid for an Asus laptop as well.

Then one fine day, that colleague of mine suddenly said in Whatsapp that he had 'won' the Asus laptop! So I quickly checked my email on my bidding status - unfortunately I did not have that luck.. Maybe it is because a lot of people are bidding on the same item as me. Oh well... I am eyeing a new MacBook.. which I am thinking of getting it when The Sims 4 is launch for Mac OS or I will just get it so that I can easily upload the photos when doing my blog stuffs as well as backing up of my photos. My iPhone 5 is crying out to me everyday to get the load off its back. I had underestimated my usage especially after my first nephew was born. Too many photos and videos of him and I had to resort to upgrading my iCloud storage size which later I became paranoid that my photos will not be fully backup into the cloud. Later, I decided to use my dropbox and tried to load everything in.. which my free upgraded storage trial had ended in November and so I am just stuck with the lack of space in my iPhone 5. I had to delete any photos deem unnecessary as well as delete games that takes up too much space in the phone. So my phone practically is just phone for calls, messages and perhaps to check Facebook when my iPad is not with me. Well, it is good in some ways.. like I will be able to spend time looking out at the scenery - which is impossible for me because the train I take everyday goes underground and never above ground.

Anyway, back to my leave from 17 November - 02 December.

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I didn't do much for my leave except to stay at home and played my newly purchased Dragon Age Inquisition. It was really..... I don't know how to put it but I felt like.. I was back in the game, in their world when I revisited Redcliffs and The Deep Roads. I tried to visualise how it was like in Dragon Age 2 and that feeling felt warm. I had been there and I had fought there.

DAI was slightly different this time.

I have to make a disclaimer first. All these are based on my personal opinion and it may not agree with you (if you are playing DAI).

The main character is like.. the leader of the Inquisition and they made the game with options and choices which will affect the story as it progress. You can reply with "I don't know" or with a firm "Yes" or a firm "No".  These will affect the people around you. They need answers and they need reassurance which you as the main character can choose to give them or not.. or even to let them feel more confused with "I don't know". There is a sense of responsibility and it is up to you as a leader to give them assurance or not. Initially I picked "I don't know" when they asked whether was I the chosen one or when will it all ends and whether can the hole in the sky be closed. As I played and get deeper into the story, I felt that I have to choose ultimately and it is either I make or I break - I chose not the latter.

The map is bigger with more exploration, a lot of running about to collect stuffs such as the shards, quests to earn experience and perks. Fighting style is quite different - there is not much options for the AI when they are fighting with you. If my memory did not fail me, you used to be able to control how much lyrium potion for the mages and health potions for the warriors. Now you have to switch to the mages in order to consume lyrium. Maybe I have yet to explore further to see if there is such an option.

It is kind of sad to see the mages and templars have all fallen apart and it was even more heartbreaking to see the grey wardens have either died or disperse because there is no need for them anymore - there is no more spawns. I had spent my time playing as a grey warden in DA 1 & 2 and I really feel for them. They are thinning out and a lot had died during the war with the spawns.

Anyway it will take some time for me to complete DAI.. somehow it felt kind of lengthy but I will finish the game eventually. I have Assassin Creed Unity waiting for me and I want to try playing the Multiplayer! As well as I had received an email notification that the stock for Lego Batman Beyond Gotham has arrived! So many games to play.. Oh, why am I not on leave at this time?

I had tried cooking a vegetarian style hokkien mee and it was good but could be better.. Maybe it will taste better with some 三成肉. That, I can only try cooking after January 16 - it's the 100th day.

It was kind of scary how big the portion was when the amount of noodles I grabbed was less than a fistful of it.

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Bangkok Trip 21 November - 25 November

It was kind of exciting when we decided to ride on this trip when one of our friends was going there on her business trip and was our first time to actually go on this trip. I mean we had talked about it but we had never fulfil it. Imagine this, we have been friends since secondary school.. friends of 18 years!

Frankly speaking.. I was quite skeptical when it comes to booking air tickets.. I took a budget airline once and I had actually told myself NEVER to sit on it again. Not because I am being proud but the experience I had was enough to make me think thrice or maybe if possible, to avoid it totally. This time, we took another budget airline... and I was telling myself.. since the incident had happened so long ago, it shouldn't bother me by now... which I was WRONG! One of them was on a budget so we had to get the cheapest air ticket.

The plane was the smaller one with just one aisle. I could feel the slightest pressure on the plane and especially when I was sleeping! As we were approaching Bangkok, the plane took a dip where you can just imagine my body turning green starting from my feet all the way to my head. I was so scared that I will vomit that I standby with a paper bag. The change of altitude was there and the landing... omg. My stomach flipped too many times that I had lost count. I was just glad to be out of the plane. However, I must say, the service provided by the crew was superb and far better than SIA. I still remember the service provided - they don't smile. Seriously. Budget airline crew fare better. They smile a lot and one of them (I think is a senior crew) participated in a joke we made when we were boarding the plane. It just made me felt at ease then.

The paper bag I had in standby.

I won't go much into details of where I went because I believe most of the places would have been visited by tourists who had visited BKK at least once. I'm sure Platinum, Pratunum, Siam Paragon, etc all sounded familiar to you right?

Photos are all courtesy of JW, our official photographer.

CX had a friend who recommended this place called "KarmaKamet" near the Emporium.

Nice place and the building looked like a combination of a greenhouse and a warehouse. Just beside the dining area was the scents - selling scented hand/body lotions, diffuser, etc. Basically aromatic oils.

The Dining Area - Indoor

I don't remember this area.. but it should be somewhere behind which I did not fully explored.

One of the fruit bowl that came with the meal.

The Big Breakfast that I had my eye on but couldn't have because it is all meat. I had some waffles instead which tasted too.... thick that I couldn't finish.

One of them drank coffee.

Out of the 4 desserts we ordered, only 1 did not have the cotton candy on it.. Initially it looked fun to have the cotton candy there but the novelty died down when the second and fourth dessert arrived with cotton candy on it. It was almost like an overkill on the cotton candy.. perhaps they should try something different with each desserts so that people would want to try almost everything to see what was it like? Something like a surprise?

We ended up placing the candies by the side and ignored it totally.

Me attempting to rape the first cotton candy.

"I'M GOING TO EAT YOU UP!"

"I TEAR YOU APART!"

"NOM NOM NOM!" *Happy* I have not eaten a cotton candy for so long that I had lost touch of the last time I ate it.. So I was quite excited to see such colourful candy sitting on top of my dessert.

If I am not wrong, this is the lavender flavoured ice cream and fillings inside the puffs. Overkilled and I kind of dislike the taste of the lavender. Too overpowering for me although it was special.

Much liked fruit stall at Chatuchak after walking around for so long. I did not spend much because it was the 3rd day and I had already overspent my $$. Plus I was scared to drink water (not because I was scare of their water or what) because I was scared that I need to pee and it was quite troublesome to find a toilet - it was usually full and you'll have to queue.. and usually there is no toilet paper inside. I don't mind visiting a toilet if I am a guy because I can just stand and pee and leave once I am done.

Our first time taking a bus ride. That was the bus ticket. JW said it cost $1 but from the looks of it.. it seemed to cost $8.. in THB of course!

We took a boat over to this place to walk around.. it turned dark quite early there and it was already nightfall by the time we were almost done walking. There was a lot of Japanese restaurant and I was really craving for a ramen! Boohoo... I cannot eat.

My journey back was quite bad too.. but still better than when I was travelling to BKK. At least there was no dip in altitude. When the captain announced that we were 30 mins to landing in SG, I felt so happy. For the first time ever, I do not dare to look out of the window (that was one of my favourite thing to do when flying). I kept asking myself when are we landing? My hands were clammy. Now I know how those people who are scare of flying felt especially so when they were forced on board. I almost felt claustrophobic when I looked at insides of the plane. It was so small and I felt so insecure and that I need to get out.

Anyway, before I end this post... I just want to share that I dreamt of deep fried chicken wings (oooooh... so crunchy), satays, chicken burgers, etc. Yum yum! I dreamt of all these when I was trying to sleep some nights back.

Good night!

Bag, games and relationship!

I had just met up with a friend of mine whom I have not meet up for months.

We still keep in contact even though we did not meet up and during which she was telling me how bad she was feeling and how someone made her so angry, so sad... Someone who just fed her with so many different emotions and feelings at once.

I still remembered the time she told me that she is not actively looking for a relationship and I didn't know that she was in one. She didn't want to say it over the phone as she prefer to say it personally.

That got me thinking, why must one be in a relationship with the other person just to find out whether are they compatible or not? Why not during the courting stage? Was it because during the courtship, everything was perfect? That one is able to overlook the other's disability during the honeymoon period? Or they are willing to go all the way of being the nice person instead of showing how they're really like during the courtship? That's why after the two are in a relationship, it means they can stop pretending who they are not and start showing their 'real' self. That also mean the 'real' problems will start surfacing and that is the test of their relationship. How much can each one withstand the truth of the other half and how much are they willing to tolerate each other.

Why can't the courtship be longer? To know one another better before entering a relationship? Is it because one doesn't know how long does the other take to accept and would like to move on to the next person? And the recipient doesn't know how long the other is willing to wait for them to decide hence accept the offer?

Sounds like one is debating whether to purchase the item that they have been waiting for so long. If they wait for the price to drop or for more reviews on the item then buy if there are a lot of positive reviews? However the longer they wait, there is a chance the item may be gone for good but if they buy to secure the item then to read that there are many poor reviews, then it's either you sell it or you just accept it and keep it - that is being positive about the item that others reject.

Sometimes I wish things could be much simpler. Love is love. There is no lies, no secrets, no hate, no betrayal, no 'not being serious' or 'I'm just toying with you only' kind of love. No 'I love you but I love another as well'.

Anyway I think one should give a second thought when they wish to just play with another innocent person's feelings especially when they are taking away the other's first time of everything - first relationship, first kiss, first date, etc. they ought to be ashamed of themselves.

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Anyway I went high and low looking for a nice bag to bring with me for my trip to Bangkok this Friday. I had Porter in mind and first thing was to the outlet at Wisma Atria. The staffs seemed reluctant to attend to me, maybe because I was dressed quite shabbily? Like a backpack - it's Herschel ok!, a pair of Havaianas flip flops, a pair of shorts and a tee. I didn't bring spare clothes with me when I stayed over at my mom's. It was only until I reached out to take a bag then one of them came to me. It was a bad vibe already. Anyway they did not have what I want and so I just left the shop. Went to Isetan to take a look, scoured Takashimaya for Kate Spade (they are having sales up to 50% off. Pity they do not have stock for my baby bag. I love their baby bag for it is big and nice!), some other outlets and ended out leaving the place empty handed.

Returned to ION and tried the Kate Spade outlet there and was disappoints again. Next door was Agnis b. The lady staff was extremely helpful, she showed me a lot of bags and I really want to buy one from her because of her good service. Unfortunately I did not because the bags that caught my eye couldn't fit my iPad. :(

The service I received from her was the total opposite from the one at Porter, Wisma Atria.

I didn't want to return to Porter at Wisma and so I searched online for other outlets and found one at TANGS! The service was a lot better than Wisma too! Why huh? The guy was extremely helpful and showed me some bags that fit my requirement and told me how new, what they had, etc. only thing is.... The bag that I like was the last piece and that's the display set. The guy's colleague told me that she had placed it on display just today only, which maybe she's telling the truth, maybe she's lying just to 'assure' me. Anyway the last piece had a minor defect. The threads came off a little by the side of a small pocket which I could just sent it back for servicing since it is under a 6 months warranty. I will take a picture of it another day. Just too lazy to unwrap it from the wrapper.

So when I got home, I realized that I'm going to Bangkok and I should have just bring my old Adidas bag instead of my brand new bag! That's when I really feel like hitting my head. I just did an impulsive purchase while forgetting where am I going to. I just need a new bag that's all and I can always buy it later. Sigh.

My only consolation was I managed to buy Dragon Age Inquisition on Xbox 360 (to balance the world and to carry forward what was left behind in DA II. Like the king of Ferelden, etc) and Assassin Creed Unity on PS4! I can't play them yet because I will be leaving for Bangkok on Friday and tomorrow is quality time with my mom and dajie with two cute nephews! Sad sad sad!!

Unfortunately there is no stock for Lego Batman Beyond Gotham. My lego video games are all in a mixture of Xbox 360, PS3 & 4. Not uniform in terms of platform, my trophies and achievements are everywhere!

The Importance of Money $$$$

I had forgotten to bring my money pouch along last week and borrowed $20 from my colleague. Here's the breakdown of my spending in a day.

Fried carrot cake $4.30

Orange juice $2.10

Curry puffs 5 pcs for $2

So I was left with $11.60 at the end of the day.

Decided to buy Don's pie back home to eating I wanted to buy two of them. At that time, I was already trying to think how does the pie cost.

Per pie is $5.90

Two pieces will be $11.80

Argh!!!! I was just $0.20 short of having two pies! And they accept Nets or cash only but no credit card!

Bought 1 pie $5.90

Went to macdonalds and tried my luck by ordering medium fries. I wanted to get the large fries however with just $4 in my pocket, I don't want to over order. The staff over the counter asked me whether do I want to upsize my fries to large fries at just $2.90? I can't really remember how much did he say the large fries cost however I know that the two purples colored notes are enough to cover the cost and I get my change too.

That was the day when I learnt the importance of money and really feel for families/people who have to really think very hard when it comes to buying something or anything that is not a necessity.

Things ain't cheap and they cost money. And looking back at what I'd spent, $20 was gone in a day. We are too used to having money in our pocket that we tend to overlook the actually cost of the item. I can't imagine a pack of fried carrot cake cost me $4 at least and it wasn't enough to fill my stomach hence the extra spending of $2 for curry puffs that wasn't delicious and was about the size of my fist or maybe smaller! Spent $2 on orange juice... Goodness! I could just stick to plain water eh? It is free and it is good for my body.

I think the only time when I actually think about spending my money is when I am thinking of buying an item that cost more than $600 unless it's Xbox or Playstation then... That can't be helped. Sometimes the price is too little that we tend to overlook it but if we are to look at the actually cost the we will realize how much we had spent and then wonder whether is it worth it.

It is the little things that adds up. Eating at restaurants eh? You'll feel a little bit of the pain because it is at least a two digits figure. I like eating at those hawker centers where you can get really cheap food and they tastes superb! And I meant really yummy! They have this special taste that you cannot get from food court. Just imagine paying $2 or maxmimum $3 for two meat and one veg? Or the economy bee hoon with two items and costing you no more than $2.50? Almost impossible right?

I always envy some of my colleagues and friends who bought those food that has that unique taste to it. I just found out Teban Gardens has this bee hoon that is exactly what I want! Just that it is too far for me to make the trip down. :(

No matter how much you earn, you need to understand and know how important money is. You need to note how much the item cost instead of just paying for it blindly just because the value is too small to care. Of course ain't asking you to be a miser as well..... ;)

I had once tried to calculate my spendings for a day and realized that I spent most or almost all of them on food. How about you? What do you spend on?

Another random rambling.

Life is a funny thing. 

We born, we learn to see, to smell, to touch and to feel. We also learn to walk, to talk, to build memories and our bones grow so we'll be taller. 

We learn things through the news, the internet, through school and at work. We will go through all the ups and downs of life.

As we grow older, we will see people around us falling in love and we do too as well. People around us getting married and have kids.

Then we grow old, we see our friends growing old too, maybe some have illness and maybe even attend their funerals. We stopped walking, talking, lose our memories and our bone starts to shrink and we die.

It is like a graph chart.. Think of it like a bell curve/normal distribution. Or simply put a roller coaster ride. You rise and grow so fast with life passing everyday like a zip... zip.... ZIP! The thrills, the highs and the fun. When it starts to end, you'll feel the decline. You'll feel that it's coming to an end, you rest.

Anyway today I just saw something that happened and it made me wonder and feel for the people who went overseas to work. 

Be it for the people who got paid high money and be sent overseas to work but more for those who have to go overseas to work in order to support their family back home.

Having to adapt to life overseas, the different culture and especially leaving people closest to you behind is especially difficult. Having to find a place to rent and doing it again after your lease ended and is not extended. So adapting to not just the lifestyle but to the housemates as well.

Missing homecooked food and the company of your family and friends. Missing the local foods in your own country. 

Worse is if something happened at home and you're stuck overseas, unable to return home. Have to wait for embassy to open on weekdays or if you can't apply leave from work to fly back. Or the air ticket is too expensive and you can't afford to fly back. Or no air ticket is available at all. Or waiting for your passport/work visa to be extended which in some cases can take months. You are just stuck here, helpless and can't do anything except to get updates from people back home.

It is unthinkable should anything happen to my family even if we are all staying here, being overseas is worse.

You are alone and although there are friends and work colleagues who are supportive but the feeling is different when you're with your family.

I pray for my friend and hope she will be strong. She had been through a lot and now this. She's a survivor but when one carries too much weights, one will also collapse from exhaustion. This is a test for her and I hope she will pass it with flying colours.