ah well, thought im in a better mood right now.. but thought i'll juz post this in. typed em during noon. yet to install modem in office pc. so no internet for d time being. sad.

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y do i have to keep pleasing ppl? y is it that it has to go this way? ppl love u if u please em, they hate u if u dont. f**k. wtf. im living for myself, not for others. y shld i live for others?

y ppl always say its your friendship that they wan, doesnt matter if u r attached or not. yet, once they know d news, they'll avoid u lik plague. that's total bullshit. if ur main intention isnt what u'd made it out to be, pls.. DELETE my number right now. hate pretentious people.

they can act oh so friendly in front and yet, what they want are juz info of that person who happened to b close to u.

in MY opinion. guys aint trustworthy. right. u may say u r d faithful type, etc. but will dare to say the same 10 ~ 20yrs down d road? will u still b able to look up all proud n repeat it? ha. dont say it too soon my dear. u cant tell ur fortune.

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was in a rather foul mood. or rather depressing mood. d music on d radio doesnt help. realised tht i miss chris more than xpected. txt him.

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wanna say a big THANK YOU to alson. for keeping me company throughout d day by txting me thou he's bloody bz w his ever fickle minded supervisors + vex over it. n yet still listen to my all nonsense crappy complains. it really helped made my day. felt really better than. my treat on our upcoming supper~ still planning..

oh n THANKS for treating me d way u used to, whether m i attached or not. THANKS!!

wanna know what m i feeling now?

i wanna have a taste of.. a complete freedom.

to go and study, without giving a hoot.

start my life all over. thou i cant delete n recreate myself.

taste life abroad.

go to japan n interact with them.

the thing i wan most outta my life is.. to drop everything here and go overseas without any worries. yea. should i have the chance to study @ aust.

f**k. d world is dying.

sigh.. dunno y. in a pissy mood now. mayb coz of quidam's music playin in d background brought some memories / emotions back to me? ha. dont see me so playful, but i dont show out my emos hor. so far.. i dont think my buddies have yet to see me cry. did u? no right?

anyway had a big bloody fight with xxx (u shld know if i'd told u) yesterday. really big! nearly tio stroke. aint kidding. i was trembling not with fear but with anger, heart pumping tight n hard n it took me a moment to cool down. really damn frikking angry with that f**ker. muz say, thats d first time i ever felt anger that way. angry till i wanna cry when i think of some stuffs. but nah, unable to cry. ha.

anyway... my mp3 cant play?????? lemme know k? coz my dap is able to find file. if it cant means cant. if it can means can.

argh.. listen more of quidam's music made me ever more wanna cry. f**k.

gonna b in a pissy mood, even more when i see that f**ker. kao. f**k.

ah.. its 0155hr.. been uploading + updating of pics taken today @ quidam since.. 2230hr? sigh, wanted to do more, use flash instead of a simple album but am too tired to do so.

Quidam - man.. its a new + refreshing experience for me as it's the first time i have ever been to such event. k.. to cirque du soleil event as with their last performance here, i was juz a poor student. jer told us that saltibmango was much bigger + there's something specially built there for the performers to "disappear".

k, the stuffs there aint cheap. halim told me that d mineral water costs 5 bucks, jer said he'd rather use that $ to buy a beer. masks, depending on the design, costing fr $30++ ~ $600++. (dont remember now. memory's failing as its 0200hr!)clothes r nice but had yet to receive paycheck + spent on d OST ($35) + d book ($20) + magnet ($9). do the maths. oh, wait. and 2 keychains ($12 each).

went up to the Grand Chapiteau to door 4. sat down and ... k, no spoilers. well, was busy trying to absorb myself with the interior (hey, it may look plain but its juz.. u wun find it in esplanade lor!), their own band / singer, lightings (men manning it), the way they make the music go with each performance, how the choreographer made it looked so awesome? nah, not good enough.. fab? hmm.. no words for it.. its juz totally WOW! i love all the performances man! esp skipping ropes, the chinese "yo-yo", etc etc... wish i'd bought the VIP tix instead + bought 2days instead of 1. its juz too much for me to totally absorb everything in 3hours+. gonna dream about it tonight. (well, enjoy 1 of the soundtrack ^^)

sigh.. quidam.. quidam.. quidam... lolx, k. stop it.

oh! met up with halim!! lolx. he really changed man! more matured looking + frameless specs looks better on his now "tanner" body. more muscular but pls, dont stop working out. or they'll bcum fats.. ugh. ohhhh! saw his gf Yasmine~! lolx, mayb always bumped onto em at night, so cant really see her face clearly. couldnt recognise her when she came over. wah! she looked prettier than d last time i saw her man! wee-e-wee!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

head over to pizza hut @ suntec for peng's bday celebration. ate till damn full man.

k.. juz realised that guys' pickup lines for me is "hey, do u play games?" will suffice. lolx. why? coz when i was in dear's aunt's car, melanie asked whether did i buy sth fr kino as i was holdin on d plastic bag. i said yea. gaming mag. showed it to her and chatted alil abt games...

THAT reminded me of sth else too! there's this accident right at my main road, SPC there. motorcycle lying on d road (triangle plate), owner which i believed was on d stretcher and there's this car that's juz by the spc's exit. no idea what happened but a word to all motorcyclist: DO TAKE EXTRA CARE WHEN RIDING, ESPECIALLY ON WET GROUNDS AS ITS SLIPPERY!!

and to driver: DONT BE SUCH A KS! GIVE WAY + GIVE SIGNAL BEFORE CHANGING LANE OR MOVING OUT! DUH.. always see such drivers juz turn without giving a f**k.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

heh, juz learnt sth new abt cars fr RX! hopefully i wun land in d police station juz for trying to peep at my neighbour's car (subaru, dunno is TS, WRX or WRX STI (or fake WRX STI). open car bonnet? hmmm.. peep at d car's wheels? hmm... lik peeping tom nia.. but its on a car.. -.-"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

argh.. every1's tellg me that they'd watch AC! gonna change my msn name le.. grrrr... >.>

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ne chris babe.. d pics u'd sent me.. which i believe 1 is your aussie rommie are kinda SMALL + 'in'visible... kindly use your SONY camera instead to take pics? =P

A thought of you whispered through my mind
I went to look for memories of you,
of the letters that we wrote
As i read through each letter,
i noticed that our friendship is as dried up as the rubber band which once binded the letters together
It broke..

***

We sometimes go through each day
not realising the friends that we used to have fun and laughter with
How did we forget them?
Why did we forget them?
Most of the time, we have no answer

***

We travelled upon a parallel line of fate
But as time goes by, it got a little crooked
Since then, we each went on our ways
Our last memory from where we left

***

23.09.05 on top was juz some poems that my long time pen pal (yea~ since 1998 man.) wanna share it with you guys esp with my friends. hope that our friendship wouldnt dry up. after reading it and chatting alil, we had decided to renew our friendship as we stopped corresponding since 2002? well, due to change in env, he's busy with work and marriage after ord-ing.

ah! today sensei (gan san) couldn't make it so he get a part time japanese sensei to take over him. kinda fun and time practically flew~! lol, lil n i agreed that his lesson was much more interesting. not bad coz he tested us on things outside of the text book.

sigh.. chris called me regarding something.. after that... it all made me really really feel v down. why? coz... nah.. dun wanna say it. it juz makes u feel useless when u cant help or give words of advice to someone close to you..

life is so strange at times. its like a part of a show yet things wun go the way you want it to be.

24.09.05 went to makan at seoul garden with dear, dajie, jer n mei @ tampines. din really wanna dine there but well, dajie xchange her perk points for a seoul garden voucher costing $25. ya.. cant really change much for something useful. d last time she changed her points for was a night's stay at pan pacific hotel with us all. kinda fun. ^^ i love hotel stays, local or overseas.

after that, we walked around. bought a cute notepad from cards n such. it says "a note from anna". quite unique. hmmm then dear n i went to meet his family + relatives @ changi airport as his brother + his 2 cousins returned from taiwan. seems like they "chi de hao, zhu de hao". -.-" forgot to get my camera back again.. argh. i missed my camera!! >.< already missing it for.. 1month? omg.. gonna hug it to sleep everynight.

^^ dajie, mei, peng n i (k, darling + jer too) were and ARE very excited coz we'll b watching Quidam in 12hrs time!!!!! shall let u peps know how's it as everyone who'd watched it said that its very nice!

okiez.. chance upon this many Qs while i was on the topic of Scotland coz was chattg with chee chung earlier.

1. is scotland using euros or pounds? -Scotland's currency is Pound sterling (£)
2. whats the difference between Great Britain, United Kingdom and Europe? anyone care to explain?
3. y is ireland part of the European Union Members but not scotland?
4. what is Great Britain n UK exactly?

oh, for those who wanna know which countries are using euros. there's the list:-

The euro (€; ISO 4217 code EUR) is the currency of twelve European Union member states: Austria, Belgium, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Portugal, and Spain

a friend is currently reading the article i found about UK to explain it to me. ^^

***Edited***
Is scotland under a different ruler? or under the same ruler as London's?
***Edited*** Q.1

juz heard the alarm (dunno what do u call that) n radio broadcasting the announcement.

although i do know that its juz a "fake" alert yet it still leaves a "war's coming" effect on me. lol dunno y.. mayb coz of d alert?

whenever i hear d alert, i'll b thinking:
"what to do?" "wher can i hide?" "when will it happen?" "when/wher will the bomb drop?" "what will i do when it happens?" etc.. many many thoughts will run through. then i'll b thinkin wher/what/how will my family be? if it really happen, i'll b grabbin my sis n my hp n run to d nearest shelter.. which i dunno wher it is.

lol, when i reach d shelter, will i b greeted with a sight of many ppl tryin to squeeze themselves in lik d MRT train scenario? or there's no available space n i gotta go to another shelter? will army/cd personnel be dispatched immed? will i reach there n c them already standby there or i'll b there b4 em?

v bo liao hor? waste my brain cells thinkg such things.. but cant help it. lol.

d radio then broadcast another 2 alerts: warning (i think) n all clear. warning made me imagine (again) how's d feeling's lik during wwII? the scene, d env, etc.. then it totally made my skin went cold. i mean.. u wun know when will another war happen right? will u know what to do? juz lik wwII, bombs dropped when u aint prepared. kinda made me feel scared. coz u dunno when r u gonna die.. and.. how r u gonna die.

and who's willing to help n defend d nation? will they pack their bags n run for their lives? or stay n fight?

heh, juz tried this test. ^^ go try it k? - if u haven done it yet.. coz i wun b emailing it out.

The Shower Test

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Mine's:-

D. Hair:
Artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby, but you can achieve what
most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking, but you will work
tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not
important. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic
types. Make the best sex partners as you are most willing to explore
and please ther other partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best
partner in life will be those who chose A (Chest) and E (Privates).

******************************************************

btw, am gonna test putting a poll here.. u'll see it once its up. XD

okiez.. updates on what happened yesterday.

mom was looking at the outgoing call list in d office and note down all the repeated numbers that our helper'd made. she got v angry as she looked throu + think of the things that she did + didn't do. so, she told my dad that she's gonna send the helper back to the agent. dajie + mom took cab back home, got our helper, went to agent's place. mom list down all the things and the agent scolded the helper. then she asked the helper about using the phone to call others without permission. (mom actually asked the helper in the morning on what the numbers are for in her diary (sort lik those AIA organiser). helper said that its for topping up her card.

agent asked helper, helper kept saying she dunno. -.-" here's how it goes.

agent: who's numbers that r in your diary?
helper: i dunno / its for top up card.
agent: dun lie to me. did you use the phone to call other people without permission?
helper: no.
agent: i give u one chance. u better tell me the truth. u go tick all the numbers that u know on the list.
helper: (ticked some)
agent: then what about this number (pointed at the specific no)
helper: i dunno
agent: (flips open the diary + saw the same number written there!) huh? u say u dunno? then y the number in your diary?
helper: i dunno

-.-"
agent scolded her, etc. feedback fr dajie: helper's facial never change at all (as most will cry, talk back or what). she din lor. dajie's conclusion: helper's v thick skin! and to think she was caught red handed n still wanna deny. omg.. there's alot more but i'd forgotten.

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List of what my helper did / din do:

on her calls:-
1. we found out that she did once went downstairs in the middle of the night to make a call to the bangla worker @ 0030hr.

2. made plenty of calls fr 5am onwards till 7am (coz dad always wake up by 730am.) then continue her calls after we leave for work (930am onwards).

on her food:-
she spent so much time chattin on the phone with bangla (oh, i made the calls to find out who owns d numbers. heh.. i pretend im fr a recruitment agency. btw, found out this: bangla + indon helpers v stupid. ask them for name, country, work place. they'll all give u. BUT philippino helpers r very smart! they'll ans u curtly. saying "i think u got the wrong number." n u cant get any info fr them. unless they r nooBs). back to story.. ... that when its 5pm - 530pm, she'll anyhow whips up some dishes esp d soup. soup needs 3-4hrs of brewing.. she.. haiz. we all complaint abt it n dad v pissed off that he din go marketing for 1 week. helper asked mom y no go market. mom said coz her food sux.

cleaning of house:-

1. she can bring in + put all the clothes in a basket n leave it in my mei's room for a week before packing them into our wardrobes. -.-" dad once ticked her off n she still "si xing bu gai" (leopards cant change its spots?)

2. only vacuum + mop wher its visible. i saw her clean once, told her to remove all the stuffs and clean the dark corners / beneath tables/sofas. (juz found out.. she din clean 1 particular room at all.. walked in, found it very dusty.. kao)

overall: she sux badly.

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but.. i get to have a taste on mom's cooking. XD
din eat her cooking for dunno how long. went to the market with dad, mom + mei. fun sia w/o d helper. but.. tiring coz gotta wake up early.

realised that if im to do housework (last night did alil. fun man!), i cant do on a regular basis. unless im cleaning only once - twice a week, im ok with it.. plus.. no stairs in d house please.. n as lil furnitures as possible. hehe.. ez cleaning. fingers kinda painful now coz been washing plates, etc last night + today helped mom to do d marketg (vege muz wrap then put in fridge). fingers abit rotten nia. v dry. we (dajie, mei n me) have sensitive skin.. so if hand is in contact with detergent (washg plates or clothes) will get v dry. dajie worse. will rot. (not that kinda rot lah.. skin peelg off, etc)

hopefully by monday there'll b at least a temp helper. mom's gonna be a temp housewife till a new helper is here. XD more of mommy's cooking!!

09.09.05 was very very tired after a night of yoga the day before + did some yoga with dajie in the office. (those standing ones only since we dont have any mats..) was really looking forward to the JP basic lesson. 1st lesson, YAY!!! dont have that irritating guy~ ok.. sensei's picking on me and anne coz we are the weaker ones... very nervous + cant read fast enough + cant hear fast enough. really! if u speak simple jp (apart from those konnichiwa, etc), i will give u a blank look lor..

went to city hall's starbucks to meet dajie, jer n ... AH NEO!! heh.. decided on a place to go.. initially thought of going chijmes, but drinks aint cheap there, neither is Jazz too.. so ended up at timbre~ not bad. got this guy + his guitarist there singing. his voice is not bad + dajie n i agree that he looked rugged (k, dajie pointed that out while i was mentioning about his mini 'beard'.) with that mini "beard".

chatted + drank.. heh, drank fruit punch! k, shared alil of dajie's beer. ate d fries + drumsticks. quite nice. gonna bring liner + dear + chris to eat there + listen to jer's friend who's a regular performer there. ^^ you dont have to drink alcohol juz to be there~ but bad thing... they dont serve iced water.. sheesh! muz buy their evian or perrier. kao..

stayed there till 2am. man, i was already half dead... waitg for jer to go off as he met his friends there. sigh, as usual. he seems to have friends all over nia.. walk on the streets then suddenly there'll be "Hey, jer!" or vice versa.

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muawhahahhah... 2days to annkia + ys return. heh.. cant wait man!

managed to contact sharon chan~ to think time flies man.. she'd grad fr uni n d last time i met up with her was my 21st bday! and its a short one, as she hopped out of the cab, passed me a bouquet of flowers + a card, hugs n hopped back into cab.. ~.~

next person i wanna keep in contact with DEZMOND! he mailed me a postcard saying he's in russia (i tink) for training for 2yrs! think by now he should be back.. =
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today ah.. stayed in office study jp till very pek chek ah! tongue kept twisting. lucky lil encourage me man.

mom damn dulan with the maid. update tmr lah. tired + lazy + mom's telling me today's incident with maid + agent.

today's soup sux.. there's a mixture of salted-vege, carrot, red dates, d small red thingy, corn n some other herbs. shall see what's mom's comments when she return.

was reminded of a rather disgusting act by this guy. was on my way home last .. monday. there's this couple who sat in front of me. d guy picked his nose and usually ppl would juz flick it off or what right? NO! this guy, he actually hold up infront to admire his work (his gf was right beside him but din say anything..) before trying to dispose it. then dig for more "gold". ugh.. its so disgusting! ok.. least he din try to rub it on the handrail/window/back of d chair or d seat itself!

XD ah neo's mayb joining us for yoga tmr!! she's coming to see how's our class held. din see her for weeks! missed her man! oh then after shall be my JP class! cant wait man!!

heh.. and also countg down to the days wher chris' returning (THREE months to go~) + yong siang + annkia fr taiwan. k.. look forward to YS.. coz m v excited to know how did his training go! he'll be returning next monday i think. sigh.. today's a rather boring day at work.. coz had managed to finish all my work yesterday.. today v v v free till im counting down the time to knock off man!

ah ha! in order to "commemorate" with the upcoming ff 7 advent children movie, i decided to post this pic up + 1 of the theme from AC. wanted to put their main theme but file is too big, hence...

pic dont really go with the mp3 but i love this pic.. so here it goes~

oh, last friday was my last JP pronunciation class. this friday starting my Basic with lilian ^^b

and good news.. the thai girl - Anne (if i din remember wrongly) also taking on basic with me. XD

so.. next fri onwards, dajie no need accompany me for dinner. heh..

okiez.. gotta go~

take care all n mooncake fest is coming~ time to hang some lanterns. ooohh.. counting down to QUIDAM~ lcuky bought d tix early.. its already 1/2 full for the whole mth!! imagine that!~

juz been to ffvii - advent children (jp) web. seems like they changed alil of the template. to d index page, there's this background music + countdown timer. kinda makes d visitor feel the story within it. hopefully the content of the movie will not be disappointing as i heard that its only a 90min movie.. unless they decided to lengthen it or add some sound tracks - heard some and its not bad. do hope that the aftermath to ffvii will be.. good. very good. otherwise it'll defeat the purpose of producing advent children. lol, AC seems kinda gloomy upon viewing the trailers. but it should be.. coz nothing is happy after the earth's nearly gone ya? k, cut d crap + go catch the official trailer to find out more. if im not wrong, there's gonna b 2 versions of it. eng / jp.

ffxi came out with their own album too. tracks fr the game, plus addition tracks sung by someone if im not mistaken. heard d preview, its quite nice. but doubt sg will import such tracks. so if u wan, u gotta order online. waiting for the final compilation of their album n mayb.. if its worth, i'll consider buying. ^^

k, gotta go. d music fr advent children is making me moody.

scary incident: was on the way home one night fr dear's place. cabbie started askg me this Q in mandarin: wei ser mo zhe mo chi chai hui jia? (y so late then go home?) my mind was going ??????. huh? y he asking me this Q? then i said huh? he repeated it and .. forgot wht did he say. i was lik.. i go home late or early.. your biz meh? plus its only 12+ lor.. not 5 - 6am wor. i juz smile and mumble something.

after his that Q, my mind was running many possibilities. - what if he's like the cabbie in d 'Bone Collector'? (channel 5 juz aired that show somemore..) - what if he's lidat.. wht do i do? (glancing at the cab's window and wondering the chances of surviving a jump fr d cab. - what if he suddenly drove off course? to some ulu places how?

of coz v scare lah! skalli he's a psycho i mati! anyway, lucky he delivered me home safety. but abit uneasy to let him know wher i stay.. coz cab lingered outside till im in my house then he drove off.. mayb i think too much lah. gemini mah.. ^^ rena said that im a dreamy person. i totally agree. oh, plus very imaginative too.

3months to chris return~ ^^ starting countdown timer le.