Just want to apologize for hurting someone unintentionally. I would understand why he is still ignoring me.
It happened so long ago.. about 10years back? We were making plans to study overseas together. I guess things changed after. When did it happen? I don't remember.
I guess he was very hurt when I initiated it. Bet he felt like shit that time.
I found him not long ago and dropped him a message. He did not reply. I guess he still hates me.
He seems to be doing well, found a great girl and should have graduated and be working by now.
Just taking a break from my studies (I'm studying Econs now by the way. First paper is on coming Thursday) to write this post as it popped into my head while I was in the showers. ^5 if the below sounds familiar to you, do change if you're the one doing this. When you're out with friends and was thinking of where to eat. Naturally you'd ask this question "What would you like to have for breakfast/lunch/dinner?" correct? So it goes like this: Me: What would you like to eat? Friend: Anything Me: hmm ok, shall we eat Mac then? F: huh, can don't eat fast food? Me: OK.. no fast food. How about dim sum then? F: don't want. Me: OK, what do you feel like having? Western? Chinese?Japanese? What? F: don't know.. I anything. Me: OK, there's a Japanese restaurant nearby. Let's eat there then. F: don't want Japanese. Me: ........... there's a western restaurant nearby. Let's eat there? F: don't want to eat that either.. Feels like slapping your forehead? If the person says anything, that means they eat anything with no particular food in mind and will go along with whatever you'd suggested right? Or if there's something they don't feel like having, can just say don't feel like eating what and what so correct? This is one frustrating person whom I would really not like to eat with. If you really don't know what to eat, but there's something that you don't feel like having, just list then out so that it will be easier for the person to narrow the type of food or cuisine down right? And if you're trying out some new place, and it is not nice and blame the person for bringing you to that place, you jolly well go eat shit instead. I think so far the only person who drives me crazy with their "I anything" is you know who you are, BUT that person really eats anything that I'd suggested. The next popular word is Up to You. What the fish? Want to meet? Up to you. Me: want to meet tonight? F: up to you. I anything. Me: want to meet or not? F: up to you later, I anything. Huh, asking you want to meet or not means I want to meet you or I'm free to meet you right? If you want to meet or want to see me then say meet. If don't feel like meeting just say no. Can show some enthusiasm or not? I think I should just ignore people who says "I eat anything" but rejects all frikking suggestions and not meet those who says up to me when I ask want to meet or not. OK back to my revision. I'm seriously considering repeating my Econs which I will fail anyway for I understand shit about it.
I've been trying to study my Econs since 12 until now, 1645hr? And nothing gets into my head. Omg and I'm still stuck at the first chapter. Sigh. How to study like that????????
Finally took some photos before I get my hair cut. Well, it was a trim only, added some colours to mask the old fading one and did a basic hair treatment because my hair will catch fire anytime soon (it is too dry). And, which girl doesn't want to look pretty right?
There was a video posted on facebook about being able to take photos from 0 to 10! So I did manage 1 to 7. It was tough I would say.
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3 - I struggled with this shot. Retake many times before I finally decided to just use this because I do not wish to take this shot again.
4 - Personally I like this one only because "Aye aye, I'm a sailor!!".
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This is so far the picture that most of my friends like.
Anyway, if you are in a relationship and you happened to like another person, would you tell your partner or would you keep it to yourself until you are sure of the feeling (whether is it a phase or you are sure that it will develop into something else) before telling your partner?
If your answer to the above question is no, then what happen if you like that person and liking the person means as of that moment, you are interested in knowing that person more right? So you will take initiative to message that person and there will be some flirting messages, teasing each other right? Is this action or behaviour right? Until then, would you ask that person out for dates or flirt with that person while you are still in a relationship?
Is that consider cheating? Is that considered letting your partner down while you love your partner but you like another person, flirts and spends more attention and time with that person until you are certain of how you felt towards the other person is just a phase and you loses your interest in that person, flirted and get over with and returned to your partner who is still with you and unaware of what had happened?
To me it is considered cheating in a sense that how can a person love someone and like another at the same time? That means the love you have for your partner is fading that's why your heart has space to like another person right? And your heart is fighting the confusion, to know where the actual feelings lies. And during that period, the heart is beginning to know how many people it is going to hurt.
While still being with your partner with love, you like another person, flirt and show interest and kept it from your partner until you are sure of your feeling. So if you are sure that it will develop deeper then you decides to dump your partner while you'd already secure the other person. That is not acceptable! You are being a very selfish person. While your partner is unaware of what is going on, still giving their 100% attention and feelings towards you, to be told that you want to end the relationship without giving the actual reason. Don't you think you are being very unfair to the person who give their trust in you? Don't you think that is cheating on your partner?
Maybe times like that where one is totally devoted to one another is rare and less seen. The society is beginning to feel that the above example is acceptable. Not to me. I feel that it is NOT acceptable at all. It will only caused the ditched partner to either lose their faith in relationship totally; changed for the worse - by doing the same or some rare ones will be to look forward to the next relationship with the hopes that the new partner will be better, different from the previous and stay faithful.
I want my partner to tell me the moment he felt something or like another girl. And yes, I will end the relationship. To me, it means the above example, his love for me had dropped and his attention is being turned away from me. He liking another girl and not telling me until he is sure of that feeling means I am a backup. Once he realised that he doesn't like her, he knows that I am still here and returns to my side. However, if things doesn't improve, the same thing will happen. The heart will keep searching to fill the void.
And if he realised that he wants to further things with the other party and then dump me. I will be damn pissed off.
Why don't the guy just end the relationship with me and then he just decides whether he like the girl or not? Why should he be so selfish and do that? That is cheating. Flirting with another girl whether he like or not; going out with another girl he like or is interested in knowing further. These are NO NO in a relationship.
To me, a relationship is about US, WE and not YOU or I but YOU AND I. It is always about two people. Considering one another other feelings before executing the action. How would you like it if your partner cheated on you instead? How would you like it if your partner goes out with their exes? How would you like it if your partner flirts with another person, giving their attention to the other person instead?
Trust is like the Great Wall of China, to me. It cannot be build in a single day, or week. It takes a long time to be built. The wall cannot be built just by piling stones on top of each other but you need to add something else to make it hold, make it strong. And like the wall, if the structure is weak, it will crumble. If someone drilled a hole in the middle of a solid wall, it will have cracks, and if it is not repair, it will worsen and weaken and just crumble.
Communication is also important. To share how you feel, whether is there something bothering you. However, as much as it is important to share, it is also important to acknowledge it and do something about it right? Otherwise what is the point of telling how you feel knowing that the other person will do nothing about it? Might as well not say anything?
Respecting one another and not taking the other person for granted. As much as the person loves you, their patience is like a rubber band that can stretch but will snap when there are too much pressure. Not everyone is like a rubber band, there are some who are like a thin thread that will snap.
Never say breakup in a relationship!
If you want a fight for example to be resolve, just use other means. Get their attention, go over to them, anything but to threaten a breakup. What if the partner agrees to it and you are just saying to get them to talk to you with no real intention of breaking up? And even if you said that you do not mean it that way but your partner had made up their mind? Sure you will say fine, break up then breakup. No big deal. But, what if you had just lose a gem and the next one in your path is a stone? Or worse? What if the next partner tolerance level is a lot lower than the previous one? What if the new partner cries easily whenever you raise your voice at her as compared to the previous one who will just tolerate and not fight back? Sometimes when the partner does not fight back is not because they are weak or stupid, but it is because they know that nothing good will come if they fight back and will only further anger their partner. Hence they will rather keep quiet. Like why apologise when sometimes you know that you are not in the wrong? It is not about losing pride or ego but it is because of valuing the relationship more than the need to be right.
Sigh, why does a relationship has to be so complicated?
To think when we were young and are in these puppy love kind of relationship, we always say "Not happy? Just breakup then!" like it holds no meaning. No value.
If the world is coming to these, then I think I would rather be in a single relationship (me and me) instead so that I won't get and removing the word 'marry' related words out of my dictionary.
A friend once asked me "Why do we fall?".
I replied "So that we can pick ourselves up again.".
That theory applies to everything. Not just relationship. But to school, to work, family.
Wow, that's a long post... Wonder how many actually read through it or just glance through.
Nothing much exciting is happening in my life for now but I had planned up things to do after my exams are over! So stress now. Haha. Haven't really been studying. And I mean it.
Weather is being weird lately, so take care and drink lots of water!
Sharing this video before I end. Love the lyrics for it is meaningful.
"Not wanting your partner to check their phone when you are having a meal/watching a show with them? Because it is "OUR" time together? Even though the both of you sees each other everyday."
Do guys feel that this is rule?
To me, as a girl, it is not. It is just spending quality time together, just walking together, eating, or even watching a show - movie or tv drama. After a whole day at work, don't you want to spend some time with your partner instead of spending time messaging your friends?
Or do guys feel this way "I'm already with you, what's wrong with me checking my phone, replying messages?".
How about you spending the whole day messaging your friends, everyday?
Spending time with your girlfriend by not checking your phone is considered a rule? Too much of a request?
"Going home early when you are out with your friends."
Why do some people feel unhappy when they see their other half spending too much time outside, staying out late, messaging other people - especially of the opposite sex too often and yet, feels that it is alright when they are doing it themselves? And when these are pointed out by their other half, they will just shut off and not give a damn on what they do.
"If you want to stay out until late, go ahead. I cannot control you as you have your freedom."
Indeed I have my own freedom of staying out late, however I respect you as my partner and I do not stay out late. Being in a relationship, isn't it all about respecting one another, keeping in mind that one is attached? If you love your freedom so much, why did you get involve in a relationship in the first place? Or why don't you just find a partner who doesn't give a shit about what you do? IS that called a relationship in the first place if your partner just keep you company as and when you feel lonely? I think that is not a relationship, that is a part time lover. Who will be there as and when you need them. Someone who will talk to you, meet you when you are free, have meals with you.
Sometimes people do not put themselves in their partner's shoes and think of how they feel. Not considering their feelings.
When a friend told me that he cannot message me because his girlfriend doesn't like it. I would used to think this way "Why is she so possessive and jealous? I'm not interested in her guy. He's not my type.".
However, I guessed after what had happened, I try to put myself in the girl's shoes and back off. Texting occasionally instead of everyday. If the girlfriend feels uncomfortable, I won't push it. I have to respect my friend and his partner. If he is single, then yes, it is alright for us to be texting each other regularly.
How about trust?
Why is it so easy to destroy Trust in a matter of seconds and yet takes a long time to be rebuilt?
If one expects to be trusted, should one not lie? Not do things that makes room for distrust?
The moment someone lied about things (of course I'm not talking about white lies such as I lied that I'd eaten but I have not in fact) but lied about.. for example: saying you do not like the person but you do; not meeting the person but you do, etc?
I feel that these are lies that cannot begin with. At all. Once a lie is made, it will be there all the time. Lying about things to cover up. And it will snowball.
Feels like I'm talking in circles huh? I'm just typing what comes to mind I guess.
Sometimes I wonder what's on a guy's mind?
I used to think that guy's mind are pretty simple and easy to understand but as time goes by, I feel that it is getting more and more complex.
Why do some people changed so much and can just turn off when they want to - to the extend that you sometimes feels that you do not know them.
I wish I have the same ability as the main character in the show "What women wants". So I can understand what's going on in a complex guy's mind.
Friends are trying to match make me up with their single friends. That's very cute of them to do that.. not wanting me to feel lonely. :)
Maybe one day I will meet someone who will respect me as his girlfriend. Someone who will stay faithful. Someone who will not lie.
But I know that someone will not appear because there's no one who will not lie or stay faithful forever.
Is there ever a no-rule in a relationship? Then that will be a no-love relationship. Like friends with benefit.
Anyway here is a song I like. Sharing with you my faithful readers. Drink more water and keep yourself healthy. ;)
I shall try to camwhore one day and post more photos of myself before I turn old and wrinkly. Heh.
Have not been updating much. Well, my current schedule is school, work and maybe some time for social events - meeting my girls up for revision. Yes.. whole day revision. However I'm using my day off for my revision classes locally and internationally (UK lecturers), I do not have time to meet them for lessons.
Anyway I was glad that I did not skip my weekend lessons if not I would have missed my eye candy. Haha. I was motivated to stay throughout the whole lessons if not for him! That's terrible isn't it?
Resumed my yoga classes and I missed those times when I attended my yoga classes on a regular basis.
Anyway had dumplings for dinner tonight and two words - cheap and delicious! The fillings are not stingy, fried with soup squirting out when you bite on it (soup is delicious by the way) and guess what? I did not have these in a restaurant but at a hawker centre at old airport road. I can't wait to try the xiao long bao and see how is it like!
Seemed like there were some scavengers over my area where I lived. They seemed to dig the thrash bins for 'treasures' and the dumping grounds for items to bring home. Once at the dumping ground, there were some furnitures for a neighbour had moved out. There was a single size mattress, queen size mattress, bedside table, bookshelf, study table, chair and some other items. I was sitting downstairs and saw some people actually looking through these items and brought them home. I mean fine, these are still in 'good' condition and maybe they cannot afford to buy a brand new one. Hell, who knows I may join them one day to look for free second hand items. Anyway, that's not my point. My point is, even if you are looking for items to bring home, shouldn't you not mess up the whole place like the above photo?
Anyway a friend is so sweet to buy this for me, to encourage me to study. She's the best!! :)
I was watching this local drama called "I want to marry", I think.
Gee, I had forgotten what was on my mind already because I was watching the last few episodes in the afternoon.
Anyway the whole series was talking about finding love, and that love knows no boundary. If the guy fits your 'checklist' of career, income, house, car, etc, you may not necessarily be happy with him. It is all about the sparks between you and the other person. Whether do you think about the person all the time? Whether does the person makes you do things irrationally - for example things that you do not do and yet you did it instead because of that person (hope I do not sound confusing here). Whether are you happy when you are with the person?
Sometimes as a third party, you wonder why did that person do that?
For example, in one of the scene, the guy (D) broke up with his girlfriend of 20years because of her busy schedule and liked another girl (F) instead. However, as soon as he did that, he realised that it was a mistake and wants to reconcile with his girlfriend again. The girlfriend got back with him. Audiences like us would wonder why did she do that? Why did she get back to him? Why is she so silly? She should have just leave him alone!
Then again, as a third party, that's just how we felt. We can't understand the rational behind why did she do that for we are not her. Only she knows best and what she wants.
In one part of the show, it says just get married and not think too much as long as you feel that the time is right. What happen if you made that rash decision and regret it later? By thinking this much, it will only cause you to have more doubts in your mind and ended up regretting it later for good. However, by doing so, will also cause you to have problems with your partner. You'd signed the dotted line and you cannot back out. You found out all the bad traits and habits of that person you are stuck with. I guess there is no right and wrong.
